I AM SECOND: SECOND CHAIR
For much of my professional life, I’ve been a “first chair” player. If you’ve ever played an instrument in a band or an orchestra, you are no doubt familiar with the term, first chair. The leader of a section of musicians is referred to as the first chair. For a very long time, I have been asked to be the first chair in the ministries I’ve been honored to work in.
I’ve accomplished a lot in my career, much more than I had planned or even dreamed. In the beginning, I thought I’d spend my life as a teacher, a wonderfully fulfilling and admirable career. And had I done just that, my life would not have been any less fulfilling or meaningful. But teaching was not the only joy I’ve experienced over the forty-seven years of my ministry.
Many of the jobs I’ve held have required me to be the leader of a church or ministry. My titles have included, Head Chaplain, Senior Pastor, and Speaker/Director, a title held by the leader of any media ministry owned by the North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists. As such, people have looked to me for leadership and to make final decisions. While often difficult, eventually that sort of responsibility becomes almost addictive. It became a part of my identity and bolstered my self-esteem—I was a "first chair".
Until I retired, I hadn’t realized just how much this part of my identity mattered to me. My replacement at Faith for Today was selected and started to work nearly seven months prior to my retirement date. I was asked to stay on in order to assist with the transition. In our first team meeting, I found myself biting my tongue as I waited for someone else to take the lead for the ministry I had dedicated my life to for the previous sixteen years. The new leader did a great job, so my discomfort had nothing to do with the decisions that were being made, but with the fact that I was not the person making the decisions.
In retirement, my wife, Pam, and I agreed to assist in planting a new church. The individual who was tasked with planting the church naturally became the Senior Pastor. I found myself as a member of the staff and not as the Lead Pastor. I hadn’t held a position like that in over thirty years! While he often consults with me, he will also make decisions first and inform me of the decisions at a later date. This is not wrong. I did the same thing when I was in his position, but it has been a very long time since I’ve been an Associate Pastor and it has felt, shall I say, unfamiliar. Actually, awkward may be a better word.
By my own choice, I have entered a new phase of life. No longer am I a "first chair person". I am now a second chair or third chair, in the ministries with which I am involved. I chose to make this transition but even so, the change has been more significant to my psyche than I had anticipated.
I realize, as do you, that every chair is an essential part of the orchestra. Without second and third chair players, the music made by first chair people would sound empty by comparison to what actually happens when all the players in a full orchestra make music together. But for many of us, the responsibilities, and yes, even the respect that accompanies the first chair, have helped form our personal identities and have contributed to our sense of self.
The exact emotions I am experiencing are still being sorted out. Do I feel I am less valuable than I was before? Do I fear this represents a diminished state of my skills and abilities? Am I becoming irrelevant? Is there even a reality that this is a transition people make as they engage in the inexorable march toward death? Truthfully, I don’t know. Whatever the reason for my difficulties, the struggle has been obvious to me. I’m afraid it may reveal something unsavory about my pride or has caused me to recognize that I’ve relied on a faulty source of self-worth. Either way, I am determined to use this as a growth experience.
“Humility” is the word that most frequently comes to mind as I write this. Am I willing to humbly accept my new reality and my new role as a second chair? Am I willing to play my part in order to support and even enhance the music of the new first chair player?
I pray that I am. And I pray that growth occurs as a result of my struggles. I want, by God’s grace, to be the very best Second Chair possible.
—Mike Tucker, Faith for Today Speaker Emeritus, and Younger Generation Church Founding Pastor